Home

Last summer, a few months after we got back from Africa the second time, we were camping with Jason’s family. I was sitting outside crying a little and Paul (Jason’s dad) came up. Now Jason is not really very emotional, and he comes by it honestly (I however, need a good cry every few weeks). Paul asked me what was wrong and I told him that I was having a sad day, which probably seemed a little weird to him at the time. He asked me why, which seemed a little weird to me, don’t people just have sad days for no reason? (ok so maybe that’s just me…) I thought about it and realized that I was missing Africa. I tried to explain how I was missing Guinea-Bissau when I was finally with my family that I had been missing for the past 8 months. The only words I could really come up with were that my heart has two homes now and as long as I’m in one place my heart has times where it feels separated from the other.

There’s a weird dynamic that happens with missionaries. You have a home, and when you go to the new country where you work almost everything reminds you that that place is not your home. You feel awkward, and isolated, but you jump in. You learn the language, you meet the people and try to understand them, and slowly it starts to feel like home too. I remember praying everyday when we were in Guinea-Bissau that God would give my heart a home there; and sometime in the second trip, He did.

[As a little side note, I think it’s the same with heaven. Sometimes when things happen that I don’t understand (usually loss) I’m reminded vividly that I wasn’t made for this. My “home” here on earth is temporary and I’m so happy I’m made for the home that’s eternal. I think that most Christians have experienced that heart longing for the home that they were created for at one point or another.]

Jason and I just bought our plane tickets and we are headed back to Guinea-Bissau on June third. In so many ways I am excited to go back home and at the same time I’m deeply sad to be leaving. I am through and through a 100% homebody. I love being home. I like to take vacations to visit people I know (not new fun places); I like to eat dinner at home, to have people over, I love to be with my family (and my friends that have basically become my family) and I would always rather rent a movie and snuggle up with a blanket than go see one. Home… it’s a strange word when you think about what it means – the place where you belong, the place you know, the place that’s familiar, the place that has the people you love, the place you’re meant to be…

I guess I’m just processing my emotions a little bit. People have been asking me a lot a questions as they have been finding out that Jason and I are headed back:
“Oh Africa, so it’s really like a vacation, right?” (not quite)
“Are you scared because it’s so different?” (sometimes)
“Are you sad that you are going to miss some important things in America?” (yes)
“Do you miss your friends in Africa?” (yes)
“Are you ready?” (mostly, hehe)

The one question that really got me thinking was when someone asked me, “Why are you so excited to go somewhere that’s so hard and do something that you don’t know if you can do? Why don’t you just stay here and be normal?” I giggled a little, and then thought a lot. It’s hard to explain, but in many ways Guinea-Bissau is where my life is right now. The job that I have over there isn’t a job; it’s my purpose – maybe not for the rest of my life, but right now. The people that I’m helping and the lives that God is changing, that’s my point.

So we’re leaving, and I feel like part of me is complete again, my purpose is restored, and my life fits; but I also feel like part of me is missing – you, the people that have made me who I am, the places I know, the life that makes sense. As we head out please be praying for us, that God would protect our hearts, and that we would truly make our home where He is.

Wind

I love the wind. I don’t know why because wind seems to symbolize change, and I’m not a big fan of that (and the fact that it always blows my hair into my mouth…). I think I love the freshness of it. Wind always reminds me of how big the world is. It travels so fast and some days my life seems so slow. I just want to jump high into the air and be carried away.

Wind also reminds me of the Holy Spirit – unpredictable, refreshing, and making things move. I am sitting in the living room now, looking out the window and seeing even the toughest old trees dance in the wind. I love the analogy there – dancing with joy at the movement of the Holy Spirit.

Lately we’ve had some crazy wind around here. Roofs have peeled off of buildings, trees have crashed to the ground, and gazebos haven’t stood a chance! Sometimes God’s power is like that in our lives too. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like dancing with the Holy Spirit it feels like being ripped into the air and tumbling end over end for miles!

When Jase and I were on the way back from Colorado in February we came across a huge wind farm. There had to be 200 gigantic windmills all turning, peacefully cranking out the megawatts. Jason was in heaven so of course we got off the freeway and did some exploring.

What a stud!

A few of the windmills that had Jason drooling!

Bummer... :-)

Yesterday I took Jason to the airport in Detroit (more about where he was going later). On the way down, at about 26 mile, we passed a sign for Caribou Coffee (which I LOVE). I didn’t want to make Jason late for his flight so I decided that I would get some on the way back home. I made it down to Metro, dropped Jason off, and then proceeded to think about how awesome my latte was going to be once I got back up to 26 mile.

In my dreamy state of anticipation I barely noticed that the sky was getting a bit gray and cloudy. I was only thinking of the warm, perfectly steamy foam that was going to sit beautifully on top of my latte. I passed a Tim Hortons – nope, some Dunkin Donuts – sorry, and even a few Starbucks – not a chance! Nothing was going to distract me from the luscious Caribou Coffee that awaited me.

As I neared 26 mile road and visions of caffeine rapture danced in my brain, I saw a construction sign. I paid it no attention… then came another one. When I glanced at it I saw something about 26 mile road… gasp! I looked again. The exit was closed… road construction… Right at the moment when I realized that my latte dreams were evaporating into thin air the sky blackened, the wind blustered, and the heavens opened. Just like that I was in the middle of a furious downpour. I choose to believe that God was also disappointed by my lack of latte. Thanks Big Guy :-)

For those of you who are wondering why in the world Jason was headed to the airport, I guess that part of the story is interesting too… hehe For the past two months Jason has been working tirelessly to get a shipping container ready to go to Africa. For those of you who don't have experience with that sort of thing (most people) a shipping container is basically the same size as a Semi truck. The church in Tulsa who donated the brick making machine ('the dirt smasher' as Jason affectionately calls it) is also donating several other pieces of equipment that will be really helpful to have in Africa. So they flew Jason out there to help them collect all of the equipment and speak to their Sunday school class about what we're going to do with it. So today he's in Tulsa and after that they are headed to San Antonio to pick up a few things and then on to New Orleans to load them all up in the container. He's pretty excited :-)

Cheeeeeese!

I am pleased to announce that I am awesome at cheese making! :-) We can't usually get mozzarella cheese in Bissau and Jason and I really miss it! I found out that it's not really very hard to make it - unlike cheddar, provolone, swiss, etc it doesn't have to age in a 55 degree cave for months on end. In fact you can start with milk and two hours later be eating delicious mozzarella!

I got a kit from www.cheesemaking.com so that I could try it out and hopfully perfect my technique before we head back, and it worked! I've only done it twice so far and the first time it turned out pretty creamy, more like cream cheese; but the second time it was perfect! I took a few pictures of the process, so check it out!

I bought milk from Kroger, mixed in the citric acid, and heated it up on the stove


Once it got to 90 degrees I added the rennet, heated it a little more, then let it sit so the curd could form. Once the curd was pretty solid I cut it up, put it back on the heat and waited 'till it got to about 110 degrees.


I thought about trying it, but it didn't really look very appatizing...


Despite it's somewhat gross appearance I had faith! I drained off the whey, added salt, and then heated it in the microwave carefully to 135 degrees


At this point I was starting to doubt that it would all come together since the only step I had left was to stretch it like taffy. Majically, as I started stretching, the cheese came together. This step was definitely the most fun part of all!


Nice huh?

Fun in Colorado

It's really been a crazy new year so far! We left Michigan January first and we just got back this week. We were in Little Rock visiting my parents, Kansas City visiting my sister, we spent a week in Denver helping Jason and Erica get ready for their wedding and then after they got married we went to Palmer Lake, Colorado for three weeks of missionary training. It was great to see my family (I've already posted a few blogs about that part of the trip) and we had a great time seeing Colorado!

Over the past month I've come to the conclusion that it's pretty hard to be in Colorado and not be impressed by the hugeness of God. Everyday when we woke up, we looked out the window, and just stared at the gorgeous mountains surrounding us. They were breathtakingly beautiful. It was really weird that everywhere we went had such awesome scenery. You just don't expect to see a McDonalds with a spectacular mountain view!

This is the building where we had slept, ate,
and had all of our classes for three weeks.
t was really well designed and we had a great time.

This is another shot of our building on a really frosty morning.
There was a lot of open space around us for hiking.

I love hazy mountains in the distance!

One evening a group of friends and I climbed this mountain
(just behind our building) to watch the sun set. It was so worth it!

Another picture from the hike.

One cool part of our training was that we had both of the weekends in the middle of the three weeks off. So, we spent both Saturdays trekking up some pretty sweet slopes and visiting some awesome natural wonders with friends. Since we were already at 7225 feet when we started hiking we got quite a lung work out! One cool place we visited was the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.

When we were in this crevice a pigeon made a
loud flapping noise right behind us but because of
the acoustics in the cracks it sounded like an
army of pigeons! I jumped and almost fell out of the rock!

So, maybe even after just this little glimpse you can agree with me - God is huge!

New Game

There's this funny looking game that I keep seeing people play during the evenings here at MTI. I got so curious that I finally tried it out this past weekend. It's called Settlers of Catan and the best way that I can think of to describe it is a combination of Risk and Monopoly. I'm still learning the ropes, but all in all I really like it. If you're looking for a new board game you should check it out!



I actually won the third time I played, so it's not super-hard to learn. (Jason would like it noted that he traded me the cards so that I could win on that turn and if he hadn't traded me he would've won on his turn - so technically it was a co-win... hehe)

hiking at over 7000 feet

For the past week we've been at MTI (Mission Training International) in Colorado. It's a three week training, so we're just really getting started. So far it's been pretty good. There are 40 different missionaries here from all different missions organizations, so we've had a good time getting to know them and hearing about where they're going and what they want to do there.

Yesterday we and some of our new friends went on a hike up a trail that goes by a few reservoirs in the mountains nearby. We're already at 7225 feet, so hiking up the mountains on the trail was a serious lung workout!!!!!


Since it was snowy and the water was frozen we took some videos to show when we get back to Guinea-Bissau. I think our friends there will get a kick out of them.

I took a few pictures, and I thought you might like to see them.

Yes, you are seeing this picture correctly, Jason is wearing his Chacos on a hike through the snow. He insisted that his toes were not cold, but I was not buying it :-)

At the second reservoir the water was completely frozen so we took a video of Jason jumping on it.

This is our friend Ian standing on some boulders in the middle of the frozen river.

Our classes end at 4 each day so we have some time to get a few things done and hang out in the evenings. We brought the game "Pit" along with us and we had a rousing game on Friday night!

This is right before the market opened!

Big Dog

I never really grew up with any pets, but Jason definitely did! His family had (at one time or another) rabbits, a chinchilla, various birds, a cat, fish, chickens, geese, hamsters, a mouse (that Jason randomly caught and fed until it died... yuck), and lots of Golden Retrievers. Out of all of those pets I think the dogs have the largest place in Jason's heart. He really loves big, playful, friendly dogs. When we were staying at Amanda and Scott's apartment he had a lot of frolic time with their dog, Mocha.


Mocha is super cute. He's mostly chocolate lab and he loves to play (although he is frequently distracted from whatever game you are playing with him). He is also apparently very interested in the world of computers...


You can't fool us Mocha, we see you looking out of the corner of your eye at that magnificent laptop!

Like I said before, I've never had a pet before, so I've never really bonded with an animal. Maybe all of you guys are pet people and you are just shaking your head at my callousness... hehe It's pretty obvious that Jason will always be a big dog lover, so I hope to join you one day :-)

Song of the Year

I know that a lot of people make New Years Resolutions, I don't know a whole lot of people who actually stick to them... hehe Human nature I guess. I used to be a big resolution maker, I really like goals, so it fits. A few years ago I was in a chapel service at Olivet (ok, that was probably my junior year in college so at least five years ago... yikes!) and I heard a song that literally changed my life. I think that most of us have had a moment where a song perfectly captured exactly what how we were feeling at the time, and this one captured how I had been feeling for years. I decided that I would make the song a mission for my life. It's really simple so I put it here for you to read it:

One Pure and Holy Passion – by Passion

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you

I think about that song whenever I'm making a big decision and it just seems to bring the focus that I need. The reason that I bring this up along with New Years Resolutions is that for the past few years I feel like there have been a lot of times where God has given me a song that teaches me something I really need to hear. Sometimes they are for a year and sometimes they are for a particular season. All of the songs really made a huge difference to me and in light of the New Year's season I thought I would share a tiny bit about them and how God used them.

The first time we went to Africa we had been there for a month or so and I was listening to some music that Jason had gotten right before we left. There was one song that I had heard a bunch before but when I heard it surrounded by the particular circumstances that I had the song took on a whole new dimension. It became my motivation to seek God's plan for me everyday in Guinea-Bissau. Sometimes I would really doubt my effectiveness as a missionary, English teacher, etc and this song would really give me reassurance. The whole song is awesome, but here just the first verse:

In the Blink of an Eye – by Mercy Me

You put me here for a reason
You have a mission for me
You knew my name and You called it
Long before I learned to breathe

Sometimes I feel disappointed
By the way I spend my time
How can I further Your kingdom
When I'm so wrapped up in mine

If I knew I was going to have a hard day I would put on my MP3 player when I was getting ready and just play that song a few times. I usually ended up singing along at the top of my lungs... The second time we were in Bissau God gave me a song that really helped me focus on His most basic plan for me – that my purpose is to love God and to be loved fully by Him. Here's the chorus:

Made to Love – by TobyMac

I was made to love You
I was made to find You
I was made just for You
Made to adore You
I was made to love
And be loved by You
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And You said You'd keep me
Never would You leave me
I was made to love and be loved by You

I say all of this to say that right around January first I was listening to the radio and a song just touched a major nerve in my heart. The guy singing is just asking God to pull him out of his self-centered way of seeing the world and to open His eyes to really see people the way that God does. Sometimes in Guinea-Bissau it's hard to see people the way that God does. They are so different and sometimes it can be really frustrating struggling to understand the culture and the people. This song reminds me that what I really really need, more than anything else, is to have God's perspective when I see the people around me. So here's the chorus:

Give Me Your Eyes – by Brandon Heath

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

So, that is my song for 2009, or at least this phase of it. When I look ahead to the rest of the year I know that in a lot of ways I've never been more excited or nervous or sure about any other phase of my life. I can't wait to see the changes that God is going to make in the people of Guinea-Bissau!

Happy New Year!

Daddy-Daughter Date

A few times when I was younger my Dad picked me up from school and took me out to lunch. We called it a Daddy-Daughter date. I don't know if any of you ever had this tradition in your family or not (maybe we're just weird... ok not maybe... probably?... No, I think I have to go with definitely... we're definitely a little weird). When Jase and I were in Little Rock after New Years I made my Dad take me out on a lunch date. We went out for Mexican food, which is a shared love of ours and we got to talk for about 2 hours. We had a good time and I felt kinda like a little girl again.

The whole family was in Little Rock for New Years and since our last good family picture was a little while ago we took a new one. Not a bad looking bunch :-)

Back Row: Jordan, Scott, Amanda, Emily, Jason, Rachel

Front Row: Dad, Mom