pregnancy induced delusional thinking

After much traveling I made it to the States safe and sound with all of my luggage and most of my sanity :-) I've been having a great time with Jason's family and the baby had it's first doctor's appointment last week. It looks like everything is going well and I'll know more in a few days when I get all of the results back.

Jason's been super busy in Guinea-Bissau and the shop at the youth center is starting to resemble a castle! They've got the walls for the first story finished, they've poured the floor for the second story, and the walls of the second story are going up! Now all they have to do is finish the walls, cover them with plaster and get them painted, and install a roof before the rainy season starts – did I mention that's around May 15th!!!!

I found this cartoon on a baby website the other day and I laughed really hard! I thought I would share it with you!

The bump is finally making an appearance noticeable to people who are not me. Here are my two most recent pics

This was my last one in Africa for a while so I thought I would wear a very bright African dress :-)

At the Atkins house. This is actually 2 weeks after the last one, but I missed a week because of traveling and then the doctor moved my due date when I saw him last week, so it worked out.

Right before I left the English department at the Youth Center had a talent show. It was pretty creative and fairly hilarious! Here are the adorable judges:

Anna, Emily, and Katie

The bump has arrived

Jason and I have been running around like crazy getting ready for me to head to the States for my sister Rachel's wedding and I realized today that I haven't posted any pictures of my belly lately! There is actually a visible little bump now and I'm quite proud of it!!!

This was taken a few days before the bump became apparent. At this point I was having tons of hip pain and not walking around well.


Then about a day before I hit 11 weeks I woke up one morning and Jason looked at me and said, "Hey, I think I can see the baby!" I ran to the mirror and discovered that he was right!!! Then I noticed that I had just run to the mirror - no hip pain. I don't know why the baby decided to wiggle around and make his/her appearance, but I was happy about it!!! My hip has been fine since then!


At 12 weeks I went in for my second ultrasound. I hadn't gained any weight yet and even though the bump was sprouting a little I was getting nervous about the baby - first time mom jitters I guess. We took the 12 week picture in front of the little house where the doctor does ultrasounds before I went in. I don't look very nervous in the picture, but I was. We had to wait for hours and by that point I was getting pretty anxious. The good news is that we got to see the baby and he/she is doing great!


If you are experienced at checking out ultrasounds you will see the baby right away. In case you don't, look in the mostly black circle near the top (just a little bit farther up than the really bright spot - my full bladder). In that circle the baby is laying at the bottom. From left to right you can see his/her giant round head, then the little round body, then you can barely see the tiny legs kicking around - he/she is about 2 inches head to rump in this picture.

We got to see the baby waving and rolling over. It was so cute and it made the baby seem so much more real. I loved it!!! We also heard the heart beat. Since the baby was rolling around the heart was beating pretty fast - 149 beats per minute.

Right now I'm 13 weeks and we took this picture this morning outside on our little veranda. It's hard to see the belly in this one, but trust me it's there. I'm still wearing all of my normal clothes at this point and I am confident that I will fit into the bridesmaid dress for Rachel's wedding May 1st, but soon after that I think I will have to bust out some maternity clothes :-) Good thing I'll be in the States for a little bit to pick up some cute ones :-)

About two weeks ago all 6 of the pregnant missionaries in Guinea-Bissau got together for a party. We ate SO much food and were waited on all day by our proud husbands. At the end of the party we took a picture lining up by the age of the baby.

The pregnant missionary women. Left to right:
Tanya, 5 months, first baby, twins, from Norway
Suerda, 4 months, second baby, from Brazil
Fabiana, 4 months, first baby, from Brazil
Me, 3 months, first baby, from the US
Nete, 3 months, first baby, from Brazil
Rosania, 2 months, third baby, from Brazil

So, that's the latest little Atkins info :-) I'm really looking forward to coming home for Rachel's wedding, seeing lots of family and friends, and eating lots of yummy food (for the baby). I'm not looking forward to being separated from Jason for 5 weeks, but we will be back together soon. Thank you so much for all of your prayers for us and our little guy/girl :-)

serious thoughts about women in Guinea-Bissau

Monday was international women’s day and since there is never a reason too small to take a holiday in Guinea-Bissau, everything shut down :-) Supposedly the men go to the market and cook for their wives while the women chill all day, but I don’t know anyone who actually did that.

Serving up yummy Guinean food for a large group

Because Monday was a holiday, I had a little extra time to catch up on some reading on the internet. I did a little searching for news about Guinea-Bissau and I started noticing that lately our country has been appearing on lots of different lists. One of the 10 poorest countries in the world, right near the top on the list of the most corrupt governments, infant mortality through the roof, 1 in 13 women die in childbirth or pregnancy related causes, AIDS is on the rise and the literacy rate is terrible, and it’s ranked by the World Bank as the worst country to invest your money in a new business in 2010 because of instability, corruption, and lack of infrastructure.

Just before telling her that she had lost the baby. This happens at least 10 times more often than actually delivering a baby out in the village.

Bearing all that in mind, a new list came out this week in honor of international women’s day that shouldn’t have taken me by surprise, but it did - the 10 worst countries in the world to be a woman. I bet you can’t guess one of those 10... yup... Guinea-Bissau. Female literacy is low, spousal abuse is high, and we’re one of the only countries in the world where female genital mutilation is on the rise. When you focus on the stats, the picture is bleak for the women of this country.

I know a lot of women here. Some of them are just like the statistics would lead you to believe, uneducated, beaten, and without hope. I’ve been in a village during a mutilation ceremony and felt oppression so thick I could hardly breathe. I’ve looked into the eyes of woman dying from AIDS because her husband takes medicine himself but doesn’t think his wives are worth enough to treat. I’ve talked to women, covered in bruises, blaming themselves for their latest beating. Some days the heartbreak is overwhelming.

But I also know others. Over the past year, through Ajuda Bajuda and my women’s Bible study at church, I’ve gotten close to so many strong Christian women. The message of Jesus Christ has changed their lives in so many ways! The church in Guinea-Bissau is building schools, digging wells, and training families how to love one another. Christian husbands are sending their daughters to school, staying faithful to their wives, and arguing using words instead of fists.

It just brings me back to the cry of my heart – Guinea-Bissau needs Jesus. Desperate people need Hope, battered people need a Fortress, lost people need a Savior. Satan’s got this country so wrapped up and he’s ruining lives left and right! Join me in praying for this beautiful country – that it would change because God changes the hearts and minds of its people; that people would find the peace, hope, and the reason for living that they’re searching for in the life changing message of Jesus Christ.

A group of Christian women from the islands worshiping God as they watch the waves.

Construction and Cooking

The rainy season is drawing nearer everyday which means that Jason’s been busy. Actually, is there are word that means more than busy, like 6 times busy – if there is, that’s Jason. In the dry season it never rains, but once the rain comes it will rain everyday for months. Good for crops, good for wells, good for keeping the dust down, not so good for building with compressed earth blocks.

Nilton and Jason making some blocks in the youth center

The blocks that come out of the block machine are super strong, durable, and all-around awesome, but just like super man, they have their kryptonite – water. The blocks can’t get wet. You get around this by covering the buildings that you make with plaster and paint. The only problem is that the walls need to be done before they can be covered. Right now the block machine has two major projects: the new machine shop at the Youth Center in Bissau, and several buildings at the new Center that Wade and Katie are building in Mansoa (a nearby village).

God has been blessing the construction projects and despite seeming hundreds of setbacks and delays (welcome to construction in the third world, or actually just about anywhere…) the buildings are going up. The foundations are in and the walls are climbing skyward. In the next two months we just have to finish the walls, run all of the electrical and plumbing, build and install tons of windows and doors, install roofs, and generally batten down all of the hatches for the rain. It sounds doable, right? If only because we know that with God all things are possible :-)

Jason and his crew taking the block machine and all of it's accessories out to Mansoa

A pile of blocks fresh from the machine in Mansoa

Now that Jason’s got a great group of guys trained on the actual running of the block maker, he’s been spending most of his time, measuring, and cutting, and welding, and assembling, and chopping, and a variety of other man-type tasks. I’ve been trying to capture various pictures of him at work, so her are a few of the latest.

Jason using the arch form that he designed and built to make a pretty doorway on the new mini-clinic at the youth center. It's used to clean and bandage up small wounds of the kids in our neighborhood.

Showing Abby how the plasma cutter slices through steel like butter

Jason's looking forward to the shop being completed so that he can work on a table instead of on the ground!

Jason and Nilton welding up the water tower for Wade and Katie's house in Mansoa

As for me I’ve been doing pretty well. I’ve got work up to my eyeballs with Ajuda Bajuda and the women’s group at church, but it’s good to be needed, right? God has been continuing to bless my language and I’m not getting tired as fast listening to Creole as I used to. I can go for several hours at a time now without needing a break! God’s been bringing many friends around to our neck of the woods and there haven’t been very many days in the last two months where Jason and I have eaten with just the two of us at the table. It’s a blessing to be able to have people share our food and our home with and I’m quickly gaining a reputation as an amazing cook. Not sure if the praise is totally deserved, but I do try :-)

We were missing Tim Horton's so we fried up some cinnamon and sugar donut holes and make some good coffee.

Nicole munching on a turkey leg - soooooo gooooood!

There's a great squash here, bobra, that tastes just like pumpkin. It's in season so I've been making all kinds of things with it - principally, pumpkin muffins.

I had a serious fast food craving so I cooked hot dogs over the flame of our gas stove while our friend Anna (from Germany) made some french fries.

As far as the baby goes, I’ve been thanking God everyday for how not sick I’ve been. I’ve been dealing with a fair amount of tiredness and my nose can pick up smells a mile away, but besides that all of the other changes have been pretty minor. I haven’t posted any pictures of myself lately. There’s not a lot to see yet, but I know you guys are curious, so I’ll post the last few week updates anyway :-)

Standing in the baby's room in front of the wall that leads to our room. Once we get all of the doors and windows in the baby's room we will break a hole in the wall where the window is and put a door there.

Sydney and I hanging out in front of the baby's room. Sydney is laying in what will be the new doorway to our house.


The most exciting thing that happened over the past few weeks is that we found a doctor who has an ultrasound machine and training on how to use it. We went there about two weeks ago to see how the baby's doing. As you can see from the picture below, you can't really see much yet. The circle is the baby's sac and the white line inside it is the actual baby. The cool part about the visit was that we got to hear the baby's heart beat. It made it feel so real.

Just for fun I thought you might like to see a few more pictures of my hair when it was braided, and then after it was unbraided…

Sewing with the curls

All of the fake hair that I took out and the 80's style that remained

Baby Atkins!!!!!

About two weeks ago we found out that I am pregnant. We wanted to get pregnant this year and God chose January :-) We couldn’t be happier, in fact I think that my cheeks are getting sore from smiling so much! I’m not that good at keeping exciting secrets so the past two weeks have been a mild form of torture! Last night Jason looked at me and with a big grin on his face said, “Why don’t you go ahead and put it on facebook. We’re going to tell everyone sooner or later, so it might as well be now.” That was all the motivation I needed! I posted a status announcing our little guy and within 12 hours 45 people commented on my status to say congratulations. So far Baby Atkins is WAY more popular than my normal status updates :-)

The apartment that we live in now is the second story of a house. We have a bathroom, a kitchen, and then one other room that we use as our bedroom / office / living room. Jason and I both do a lot of our work from the apartment so we have people over working with us a lot. There is a large veranda on the front of the second story and half of it already had a roof with columns at the corners. We decided a while ago that we wanted to wall it in to have an extra room in the house and we started the project about a week before we found out that we were expecting. So now the extra room is officially the baby's room. It's really going to be a blessing because the baby will be able to sleep much better without people coming in and out of it's sleeping area all day!

We have been taking pictures of my belly each in week in the baby's room so you can see the baby's progress and the room's progress. So far, not much to report with the belly, but the room is coming along great!

Six Weeks and a pile of blocks

Seven Weeks and some of the blocks are now walls

Last week one of the import stores downtown got frozen turkeys! We were so amazed that we bought one. We've been in a celebrate-y mood lately, so we had a party and invited two other American families who live in Bissau. The turkey was amazing, and we all had a good time :-)

One wing fell off when we were taking it out of the pan, but besides that it looks good enough to eat :-)

Abby, munching on a drumstick

Tammy and Katie getting food for the kids, Jonathan and Jason lounging in the background :-)

One of the words here for the time of pregnancy is the same word for "hope" (like "expecting" in English), and it's also what they call the dresses that married women wear - because if you're married you should be pregnant :-) As a married women I do wear these dresses a lot but last Sunday was my first time to be wearing a "maternity dress" while I was actually pregnant, so we took a picture :-)

Curly Hair

A lot of times when people ask me how life’s different over here I don’t really know what to say. It’s different in so many ways – where to begin?!? The other day as Jason went up on our roof to do something that might seem a bit strange I thought to myself, yup, this is one of those differences...

In the US water is pumped up into giant water towers and then the pressure from those towers gives you running water in your house. Here we don’t have big water towers that bring us running water, but we use that basic idea on a smaller scale. When the youth center’s generator is on for classes we pump water from our well up into a tank on the top of our house. Then, even when we don’t have power, the pressure coming from the tank gives us running water.

About once a year the tank needs to be cleaned out. All kinds of algae and other fun stuff grow in it, and it’s just a little disconcerting to shower in green water... hehe. Our water tank is pretty new but when it was installed they put cement blocks inside of it to hold it down and they did not put a lid on it. So, a few weeks ago when Jason went up to check it he discovered that the cement blocks were dissolving into the water and that somewhere along the line some cardboard and some plastic bags had gotten in the tank (presumably from the lack of lid) and were decaying also. That was enough for him, so he donned his grubby clothes, grabbed a filter, a scrubber, and some bleach, and slithered into the small opening in the top of our 1,000 liter tank.


He scrubbed and flushed and scrubbed some more and I’m happy to report that he did make it back out of our tank, our water is much cleaner, and we do now have a lid!

I'm not quite sure what Jason was going for in this one - big intimidating water tank dirt eliminator, maybe?

Over Christmas I got my hair braided with curly extensions and we went out the village to visit our Brazilian friends there, Gilson and Rosania.

Decorating the dead Christmas tree - it's amazing what you can do with garlands and bows, when we were finished it actually looked pretty good!

I couldn't get my hair wet, so I decided, who needs a shower cap, I'll just go with the dress that I wore earlier :-)

Jason and I on Christmas day

Christmas just isn't Christmas without a one-year-old to play in the wrapping paper :-)

A few days after Christmas they wanted me to make American food, so I made mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and Swiss steak. It was good!!! (Yes, I am wearing the same clothes as Christmas, we don't take that many outfits when we travel on public transport...)

In another little bit of news there is a bakery in Bissau that makes whole wheat and nine grain bread! It’s been open for less than a month, but so far so good. Before this you could really only buy two kinds of bread in Bissau - a long Italian loaf or a sweet roll. We’ve been frequent visitors to the new store and we’re hoping that it stays open for a while!

Slicing into a loaf of nine grain bread!

Ankol

The other day Jason and I were driving back from a village about 2 hours out of Bissau and we saw branches full of fruit for sale. I thought they were coconuts at first, so we stopped to check them out. It turned out that they were not coconuts, but they were a related fruit called “ankol”. The entire branch was only $2, and the people selling it assured us that it was quite good, so I thought, why not? We threw the branch in the back of the truck and got back on the road.

When we got home I asked some people at the youth center about “ankol”. They all said that they liked it but they hadn’t had any in forever since you can only get it in the interior. Their memories of its yummyness made me curious so I decided to test out our new mystery fruit. I picked up the branch and the first thing I noticed was that it was heavy! Like ridiculously heavy. This picture is not an exaggeration!


The second thing that I noticed was that it was really hard to get off of the branch. I had to twist, yank, and basically use all of the strength and cunning that I possess for each one.

Sydney is not amused

Sydney was much more interested in chewing
on the new stick than in the fruit itself

Finally I had one and I took it inside to check it out. I cut into it and was immediately puzzled. Most of the inside was a dense, spongy sort of material, but there were three sacks each about the size of a golf ball filled with clear jelly. I tried the spongy stuff first, but it was so bitter it made my toes curl, so I decided that the edible stuff must be the gooey part. I grabbed a spoon and stuck it in. I was prepared for the worst, but I was surprised, and then even more confused. It tasted like... well... nothing. It didn’t really taste like anything at all.

I went back outside and asked my friends how they usually eat “ankol” and they said they cut the top off, take a spoon, and dig out the jelly goodness. They asked me if I liked it and I said that I didn’t not like it. They all laughed.

Jason came home and came to the same conclusion, so then we were left with about 40 “ankol” that we didn’t really want to eat. I decided to load a bag (several times because I couldn’t carry all of them at once) and give them away to our neighbors. As I visited different neighbors and took out the “ankols” they were all so excited. Some of them hadn’t had one in 20 years and most of the kids had never tried one. Before I knew it I was hearing all kinds of stories of people’s childhood memories, it was a great time.

Then the weirdest thing happened – people started giving me stuff. Someone gave me a handful of lemons, someone else gave me a little bunch of bananas, and one of our neighbors gave me a bag of freshly harvested peanuts. Here in Bissau people ask us for stuff all the time. Everyday, especially if I leave my house, people ask me for things – money, food, you name it, even the clothes that I am currently wearing. A lot of the time we do help people, so we are very familiar with giving stuff away. The difference with this was I got the opportunity to give something away that I wasn’t asked for (kind of like a preemptive strike) and people gave me things back. It was strange and kind of nice.

Sydney's Adventrues

Most mornings our puppy Sydney leaves our house with Jason and makes a trip to the bread hut. It’s little building with woven reed sides and a metal roof where they bake bread daily at the crack of dawn. The only things inside are the table that they mix the dough on and a huge clay oven where they cook the bread.

A month or so ago Jason and Sydney set out to pick up the morning bread and they ran into three big dogs. Sydney has met these dogs before and usually she just rolls on the ground in front of them and they all play a little bit. For some reason that day these dogs were mad. When Sydney came around the corner they jumped her. They were barking, biting, and going crazy. As soon as Jason realized what was going on he chased the dogs away, scooped her up in his arms and brought her home. He checked her for wounds, just a few scratches, and sat with her and snuggled her until she calmed down and got comfortable again.

The next day when Jason took Sydney to the bread hut with him the dogs were there again. Sydney didn’t run for Jason - who was right there, ready to protect her - she took off with those dogs at her heals. She didn’t remember Jason saving her or carrying her home or sitting with her and petting her, she just remembered those three big dogs.

The day after that Sydney did not want to leave the Youth Center where we live. She cowered and cringed and finally Jason had to put her on a leash. He had a wary eye and a hand full of rocks, but Sydney didn’t see that. She just remembered those three big dogs. Jason dragged her all the way to the bread hut and home.

Jason ended up doing that everyday for two weeks, and each day Sydney was scared and timid. Once the other dogs saw that Sydney was with Jason and not just running free they completely left her alone. After those two weeks Sydney finally realized that with Jase with her those dogs were actually scared of her! After that she didn’t need a leash anymore, she loved going with Jason and she still does. Now, when she sees other dogs, she doesn’t cower on the ground, and she also doesn’t run away; she just keeps walking with Jason.

The other day a stray dog came into the Youth Center and started chasing and biting some doves that are pets of our director. Sydney tore after that dog barking like crazy and that dog took off! She chased that dog all the way down the street and then proudly trotted back home. After I saw that I was thinking about how timid she used to be and how much of a contrast there is now and it struck me how alike Sydney and I are.

Just like Sydney, sometimes I wander a little bit from God’s side and sometimes a pack of dogs comes out of nowhere and blindsides me. Sometimes I don’t understand why God let me be attacked. But what I really don’t understand is when God puts on a leash and leads me back to that place again and again and again.

Sometimes it’s an abrasive person that just rubs me the wrong way. I pray for love and patience, but God seems to bring that person back into my life over and over and over, completely draining all of the love and patience that I asked for :-) There are lots of other ways where I can feel like I’m in the same difficult or hurtful situation over and over and it just doesn’t make sense. When I was thinking about Jason and Sydney it made me realize that sometimes God brings me into those situations on purpose so that I can be assured of His presence and His provision no matter what the circumstances. He’s always working to change me because He has a purpose for my life.

Jason and I can’t really have a timid guard dog, so we helped her get her confidence back. God can’t really have an impatient, scared, easily annoyed, shallow, selfish Christian, so He helps me become more like Him. He doesn’t bring me into those situations over and over again to drive me crazy, He does it to change me, and when it comes right down to it I’m so grateful for all of the changes He’s worked in my life over the years!

"Bring it on!"

Praising God

One of the guys on staff here at the Youth Center, Tolentino, came down with Yellow Fever about two weeks ago. It’s a pretty serious disease and when he was younger his older brother died from it. Yellow Fever, true to its name, turns your body yellow and gives you a super high fever, among other things. Tolentino’s fever was so high that for days he wrapped himself in a cloth and every 5 to 15 minutes poured a bucket of water over himself just to keep cool.

On Thursday he was sitting in front of his house with all of the people who had come to see him. They were all talking about how bad he looked and how serious the disease was. Tolentino listened until he couldn’t take it anymore. He asked everyone to leave him alone for half an hour. He went inside the house, shut the door and started singing praise to God. Tolentino has a big voice, so when he sings, you hear it. Everyone outside starting telling Tolentino’s family that the disease had affected his brain. After singing for about 10 minutes he started praying. He prayed for the rest of them time and then the fever left him. He stood up, went outside, and started eating for the first time in days.

Since then he’s been gaining strength. He was in staff meeting this morning giving praise to God for healing him. He said that as he was sitting there listening to everyone and thinking about how sick he was he remembered that God knows the number of our days. He could choose whether he was going to sit there and feel terrible before he died or if he was going to sing praise to God. He chose to praise God with everything he had left and leave it in His hands.

After hearing that testimony this morning I just had to share it with you. I don’t always choose to use the time that I have to worship God. When I’m faced with difficult situations many times I focus on the situations instead of taking time to push everything else aside and focus on God. I think it’s in those moments that true worship happens. When we say to God, I don’t know if I’m ever going to make it through this, but I know that my purpose here it to worship You, so I’m going to give you what I’ve got.

Parking triumph

The other day I parallel parked for the first time. I was with Katie going to the market to buy some baby clothes for a friend of ours (Jason was with us too, but he was headed to a different section to pick up some bike parts).

I know the picture makes it look like the car behind me was really far behind me, but hey, you've gotta start somewhere. I pulled up and then turned the wheels to get really close when I backed up and then straightened it out, not bad for a first-timer :-) hehe

This is Katie and I headed in.