Monday, June 25, 2007

Pledge... sort of

This summer has certainly been a trip so far. Africa was crazy-busy but if Jason and I thought we were going to come back to the States and kick back, we were wrong. A lot of the running around since we have been back has been good – we have seen lots of people that we missed. The hard part has just been not being settled.

I know, I kind of sound like a broken record, right?

Y'all know I don't really like it when I don't know....

Here's the thing, so far this summer every time I feel like I have something nailed down it slips out of my hands, BUT




Simple words... They really mean a lot to me right now.

In Africa it was really easy to be content. All I had to do was open my eyes for about 5 seconds and see that whatever I had I was the lucky one. I feel like it's not so easy here in America.

I think I have just slipped back into the attitude of "this is what I deserve"... Not about new clothes... or a big house... I'm not really talking about things at all. I'm talking about a sense of security, knowing what's coming next, a plan for my life, etc.

In Africa I didn't have any way of knowing what was going to happen and when stuff happened a lot of times I didn't understand why. I had a big picture, but you all know I am not a big picture person. I was totally ok with that... most of the time... I felt like I learned so much about going with the flow. I mean, when we missed our plane on the way out because they randomly decided that the Monday flight should go out at 10 am instead of 11 pm I was not fazed.

So why aren't these lessons moving with me? Why do I want to plan out my life and shut God out of the process? Surely not because I am scared... He has always taken care of me... Do I think I know more than God about how my life should go... ha...

Ok, here's the deal. Whatever happens for the rest of summer I am ok.

- if have a place to live

or if we don't

- if the people I'm praying for want to talk about God

or if they don't

- if a have a break though on SPYC follow up

or if I just use the good stuff I did last year

- if Jason gets a job

or if he doesn't

- win or loose, rich or poor, tired or rested,

happy or sad, full of mac and cheese or hungry...

I will be content.

I know that God is on my side.

I want what He has for me.

You know, life is good isn't it?